wasting time in the best of ways

i waste time only for good, and never for evil.

allow me to back up and explain.

i have a 10 month old son that requires constant attention and mental stimulation as well as monitoring for safety because he walks and runs EVERYWHERE.

so when i get free time, it is precious and short. i spend it... probably not so wisely.

for example, today Ronin (my boy!) took an hour long nap.

what did i do?

apart from rubbing my hands together and grinning like The Grinch about to heist some Roast Beast, that is.

i plopped my computer on the floor and half-assed my way through some yoga. now, i say half-assed only because my arms have the same strength and muscle-power as that of a 2-inch long goldfish so i had to drop to my knees and wussie out of most of the "upper-body strength dependant" moves.
after that invigorating 16 minute, 42 calories burned session i moved onto lazier activities.
to be specific, i spent a good half an hour googling pictures of Jared Leto's new Platinum Blonde and Pink Mohawk.

i want to crawl inside of his mohawk and have a picnic. maybe do some knitting. or make some pottery while i'm in there. mostly i'm just envious and very jealous that he has cool hair and mine looks like, well, this most of the time:

after i was done pining over Jared's infinitely cooler coif, i spent another good 20 minutes looking at pictures of cake. specifically looking for a cake in the shape of a treadmill. just for the record, there isn't one out there in cyberspace.
it does not exist.
i'm sorry to crush your dreams.

other Free Time Wasting Favorites are:
1) chasing my cats with a hair brush
2) cleaning the tartar out of my teeth with a gracie scaler that i hoisted from where i used to work.
3) pushing back the cuticles of my toenails.
4) cutting my husband's toenails.
5) painting my dad's toenails.
6) baking nutella brownies or yummy cupcakes and then finding friends that will allow me to shove them down their throats.
7) weeding out the good music on my computer from the dross, pure unadulterated crap.
8) looking for abandoned pennies.
9) planning for but never starting a garden.
and.......
10)  looking at houses for sale/rent in random states and cities. just because.


January is annoying.
i went to the gym today, expecting to do "my usual".
1/2 hour on the elliptical/stairstepping hybrid machine, 1/2 hour on the actual elliptical, 10 minutes on the treadmill and 20 minutes or so doing strength training.
but there were all these people crawling all over the place.

there was a tiny tiny shriveled woman on the elliptical that could barely reach the handles while she pedaled. not a "little person" as much as i think she's just a humunculus.
there was an older blonde lady in a cerulean blue velour track suit. stylin. truly.
and sooooooo many sweaty men that had forgotten their deodorant. and possibly how to brush their teeth. and definitely how to bathe regularly.

but i digress. i know everyone's all gung-ho about getting healthy and working out and junk, but i miss the days when there was only a handful of people hogging the machines instead of 128 people milling about looking lost and wearing ridiculous velour track suits.

it was nice when i could be 2 or 3 machines away from the nearest person so i didn't have to smell their sweat/breath/farts. yes farts. cuz people on cardio machines fart a LOT. getting all those innards and juices moving...
truth be told, i'm not exempt from this particular phenomenon.  i let farts rip that would put baboons to shame. what with their poo flinging and all.


what else what else what else...


i really need to write more. i feel like i'm losing my audience.
i also feel like i need to engage in illegal activities and start putting graffiti of my blog's URL on bathroom stalls and park benches and such. ya know, get the word out.
i've got readers in 39 different countries now (welcome, Romania!) and now i'm just a greedy little bitch about getting more readers. trying to make some revenue, ya know? but more importantly, i just like making people smile.

so if you would, tell a friend. post a link on your website/facebook page/email/local park bench/mcdonald's bathroom/cozy Starbucks armchair.


Krista's Thoughts Before Bedtime:
1) i wish my cats wouldn't lick each other on my dining table.

2) it's funny hearing a guy say the words "pineapple sunrise" with a straight face.

3) Corgi dogs are the Oompa Loompas of the canine world.

4)  i'm in the mood to karate-chop styrofoam beams.

5)  i have no idea how old the soy milk in the refridgerator is. i wanna say two months...

6)  i think that Kanye West is sneaking into record studios and hiding his Auto-tune excerpts into ACTUAL music, thus stripping it of it's beauty and power. example: why the hell is his arrogant ass spittin' on my favorite 30 Seconds To Mars track, Hurricane? matherfacker.

7)  Godiva coffee is disgusting. or i'm not making it right.... 8 scoops to every half cup of water, right? ugh. puke.

8) my friends and family and readers continue to be awesome.

9) i desire... more comments. and macaroni pictures. and popsicle stick people.

10)  i just called my bestie's little brother a "nerd" after he posted a parody-style status about dragons. i feel that it's a sufficient "diss". i dunno. do people still say "diss"?

Peace out my little mince-meat pies!