my zombie walks but never sleeps

i find myself awake at 4am today.

not out of willful choice, mind you, but because i have a SCREECHING ten month old baby upstairs who "doesn't understand" that nighttime is for SLEEPING and not for screaming at mom.

just because he can walk on his own now without holding onto me or daddy he thinks he's a big-shot that doesn't need to rest.

and he wants to punish me and let me know exactly how pissed his is at me for leaving him in his crib instead of letting him play when he wakes up at 2:30a.m. to do so.

little punk. momma needs sleep.


anywho, joy of joys Ronin finally got his confidence up and now instead of walking 3 or 4 steps, freaking out and sitting down, he walks all the way across the house from Shiny Object #1 to Shiny Object #2 with no hesitation.

good for him, but I'm in trouble.

we have a teeny tiny townhome with stuff just crammed all in it which doesn't make it very "baby friendly".

at least we don't keep our knives on the floor anymore. whew! dodged a bullet there.

oh, i think he stopped screaming... now he's just crying and whining. it's a small step but i'll take it.


ugh. losing weight is hard, y'all. and i know it's the time of year for it and talking about it is cliche and not exciting or new in the least, but it is what it is. it's a bis-natch.
i still have 16 pounds to go, thanks to the 2 pounds i put on in the last 12 days and it just seems like a hopelessly dark tunnel with no Scooby Doo nightlight at the end.

in leu of Scooby Doo, there is an Orc horde clad in battle armor and cake, threatening my diet and exercise regime and my very life. plus Orcs are smelly, so boo.

my hair is immortal. i know this because it has stopped growing and is in a constant state of unchanging Annoying Lengthitude. not quite long enough to put in a ponytail, not short enough to be considered "pixie" or "cute" or "un-barfy".

as a result of these two grievances i feel completely bummed out by anyone with a rockin' non-post-partum body and/or long hair.

sweet Jesus he's screeching again.

i go up and "check" on him and that just seems to make it worse cuz he sees me and cried louder as if to say "MOMMY WHY DON'T YOU LOOOOOVE ME, I JUST WANT TO PLAY WITH YOUUUU". and then i feel like a dipshit parent when i leave him to let him cry it out.

ugh. why can't he just sleep through the night like a normal 10 month old baby.


my cats missed me while i was on vacation. i know this because every time i sit or lay down they are there, pinning my legs down and demanding all of my cuddles and pets. also they try to claw through Ronin's door when i'm in there with it shut.which does NOT help Ronin fall asleep.

i tried some yoga today. i did 5 or so different difficult positions and held them for 30-45 seconds each. i only did one circuit of them though because the laundry had to get done at some point so we could get it off of the bed and sleep. i'll do at least two rounds tomor.... i mean later today. you know when someone says "where does the time go"? well it goes right here.

Good News Everyone; i've found all of the extra time that you've lost. it's right here waiting for you in the "waiting for Ronin to go back to sleep so i can go back to sleep" space-time continuum. please pick it up at your earliest convenience.

Observant Observations:
1. our waitress at Ruby Tuesdays on Sunday evening looked like a poor copy of Ellen Page. in fact i nearly called her Ellen Page while she was walking around with our queso dip and chips, looking utterly lost like she was still stuck in Inception and there was no Leornardo to save her or whatever. (never saw the movie, just guessing at it's premise.)

2.  businesses that "cut costs" by turning off the heat in the bathrooms should be tried as criminals in a court of law. sure it's fine for the men that have to take a squirt, but us lady-folk have to squat to pee on those ice cold toilet seats and it's deplorable.

3.  aparentely if you "like" a whole bunch of webpages on Facebook just so that you can slap your blog's URL on it once a day everyday it is considered "abuse" and you're banned from doing it anymore. just a heads up. i guess i'll have to find another way to get the word out. where else can i do my digital graffiti? hmm...

4.  it's funny how my husband tries to seduce me by making me laugh so hard that i nearly pee myself, and then he gets all in a huff because i get a bad case of the giggles while we're making love. i'm not laughing at him at all, just the Russian voice and the awkward gyrating bouncy dance he does to try and "get me hot". i love that man.

5. i saw a beautiful white and gold owl in the middle of the road while we were driving back home to Georgia from Virginia on Sunday. Deer? sure. Rabbit? of course. Armadillo- the state bird of Texas? absolutely. but an Owl? now that's a first.