it is way too early for morning sickness. i mean, i don't even know if my Eggo is Preggo or not, yet.
all i know is that for the last three days i've been very nauseated in the morning and sometimes into the afternoon.
i tried cutting out my morning coffee, still felt like barfing.
i tried cutting out my morning vitamins, still felt like blowing chunks.
so here are my guesses:
1. I have a stomach virus that somehow magically disappears in the afternoon.
2. I have been knocked up with some very eager sperm that is chomping at the bit to get my pregnancy hormones swirling and my breakfast twirling into the toilet.
i may have been knocked up twice, judging by how icky i've felt the last three days. perhaps i've been invaded by twins? time will tell.
The Countdown Until Krista Pees On A Stick:
Eleven days.
but i may cheat and have my blood drawn and tested when i take my WonderBoy Ronin in for his 1 Year appointment at the hospital.
it's so fun being a woman.
but i feel like there's a tad too much vomit and blood involved in having two X chromosomes.
that's just me.
Krista's Thoughts Before Bedtime:
1. i need a new hobby. i finished all my sudoku books, i counted and rolled Mike's penny collection, and my toes are neatly pedicured. dot dot dot. now what? thumb twiddle. question mark.
2. it is decided that i enjoy typing out emoticons instead of making them. smiley face. winky face. kissy face. oh the joy.
3. had a Grilled Krista (without the pepperoni) at 9:30 and almost immediately regretted the decision to eat it.
4. Ronin walked around Walmart today holding a kiwi. he was scared of it because it's furry, at first, but Mike touched it and held it out for him, and Ronin grabbed it and didn't let it go. he showed it to several ladies doing their grocery shopping, then spotted me and ran to me holding it out in front of him. we ended up buying it. i love my boy!
5. i need to start stretching more. that's it.
goodnight everyone.
winky face.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
survey says...
so i decided to do one of those surveys that's floating out in cyber space.
i've got my headphones on, my itunes set to my current favorite songs (mostly from the Glee soundtracks, some Florence and The Machine, and i admit, a little Britney Spears), and one of my cats curled up at my feet.
it's go time.
Krista's Dumb Survey That I Found Floating About Wildly In CyberSpace:
1. What's your most favorite bumper sticker you've ever seen? It had 4 deformed smiley faces on it and it read "Discourage Inbreeding, Ban Country Music". Kristen Rains knows what I'm talking about. We were 14ish and it was about the funniest thing we'd ever seen. I have yet to see one that tops it in both shock value and mirth.
2. Do you sing in the shower? Often and Poorly. Also I hold conversations with myself. I have to. If i get too bored i end up just standing there letting the water roll over me as i fall deeper and deeper into a vegetative state. that's how zombies are REALLY created.
3. Are you guilty of showing to much PDA? Don't be ridiculous. I hug and kiss and tiny-hump with reckless abandon. Why, just tonight i groped my husbands man-boobs quite vehemently at a Going Away/Get Together/Barbeque at a friend's house. I have no shame. Life is too short to be embarassed about cupping your husbands junk in public. Not that I do. Well, not that often anyways.
4. What's the best smell in the world? My little baby boy after he's had Bathtime. He's all full of joy and reeks of Johnson's baby detergent or whatever it's called and it's just magical. Love my boy.
5. Which of your current friends have you known the longest? oh sheesh. um.... That'd be my JESSICA!!!she's about as goofy as i am, and that's what makes her a rock star.
6. Do you say Ca-RI-bbean or Carib-BE-an? RI. what a stupid question. who screens these?
7. Do you drip-dry after a shower/bath? No. i am not a dog. nor am i a wildebeest. also, i am not a child, raised by wolves, living amongst the lush flora of the tropics. i have a humongous bath SHEET, not towel, that i wrap around and around my person upon exiting the Cleansing Portal.
8. For toilet paper: Do you wad or fold it before use? I believe that we should Hybrid-itize everything. Therefore, i do both. i also charge my toilet paper, as well as fill it with premium gasoline. it's all about taking those baby steps towards a greener lifestyle.
9. What's the best animal to sing about in Old McDonald? WOMBATS. hands down. without a doubt. it just gets a tad tricky when you get to the part where you have to sing about the sound they make.... They definitely do not say "wombat wombat" as i have been informed. i still hold that they might. it's not impossible; therefore it should not be discounted. I'm not about to label wombats as lesser creatures that can't even say their own names.
10. If you could paint your room any way you want it, what would it look like? it would look like the inside of Candy Mountain. Complete with lickable paint. The Schnauzberries taste like Schnauzberries.
11. Have you ever flipped off your mother or father? never. I do not want to die.
12. Which of your closest friends would be easiest to date? oh. um.... sheesh. uh.... MY HUSBAND!!!!! again, stupid question. i WILL smack you upside da hed.
13. Which of your closest friends would be hardest to date? ugh. this survey was clearly manufactured for 13 year olds. no offense to any 13 year old readers that i might possibly have out there in InterwebLand.
14. Do you have a favorite pair of underwear? Absolutely i do. they're white (because white is my favorite...shade... to wear) and they have lace and little bows on the hips and say stuff all over them. i'd write what they say, but i can't remember and my Naughties Drawer is all the way over there and my bed is sooo comfy....
15. If so, what do they look like? oh. oops. um, let's just say you didn't skip number 14 because you were bored to thick, bloody tears.
16. Do you always use your turn signal? yes. so much in fact that i am becoming that Old Inept Woman Driver that leaves her turn signal on as she drives down the road, under the speed limit, not turning or having any intention to turn.
17. Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? ooh. i have actually. maybe... 4 years ago? i'd never played before and i wanted to check it off of my bucket list. it got a little weird. we had the rule that the bottle landed where it landed, and you had to kiss the person it landed on, even if it was same sex. and there had to be tongue. and it had to be at least 3 seconds. oddly enough, the guys attacked it with gusto when it landed on another guy. it's always more fun when everyone commits, i suppose. winky smiley face.
18. Have you ever dated someone that your closest friend didn't approve of? dude, who cares.
19. Can you do a cartwheel? Hell yeah I can do a cartwheel. What kind of un-American theiving thug bunny-killer do you think i am? Of course i can do a f*cking cartwheel.
20. What time is it? it always is and forever will be Hammer Time. Can't touch this. I'm too legit.
21. Do you ever check surveys for correct spelling and grammar? Life is also too short to worry about spelling and grammar when you're posting a survey just for shytes and giggles on your blog page that you keep up to entertain, and not make millions of dollars from. Also Capitalization. i'll make big letters when i FEEL like making big letters.
22. Did it bother you I ended a question with a preposition? Screw you and your preposition. though i admit that at first my brain read the word "proposition" and that i was puzzled for a moment thinking "hey,.... i didn't see any proposition..."
23. Do you know what a preposition is? A preposition is where you get too damn lazy to think of another thought provoking question so you start lecturing us all on parts of speech with a "holier than thou" attitude that is not appreciated and will no longer be tolerated. I'm going to find your house and write the word FART on all of your windows with superglue and gummy bears. you're welcome for the Permanent Delicious Treat.
24. Type of internet connection? i have one. why does it matter. doesn't just about everyone have cable these days? does anyone still dial up? leave me a comment if you do and i will send you a check so that you can have normal interwebs like the rest of us, you poor dears.
25. Did you ever play in boxes as a kid? YES!!! we cut out windows and hung Fabric Scrap Curtains and drew furniture on the inner walls in chalk and just had the best time. screw these thousand dollar playhouses kids have nowadays. cardboard boxes are the shit.
26. Do you know anyone who doesn't like chocolate? my poor future sister in law Crystal. she's allergic. i weep for all that she's missing. although, she's hella skinnier than i am. so maybe i should find some Chocolate Death Allergic pills and get me some I-May-Die-If-I-Eat-This-Cheesecake in me.
27. What's the longest time you've gone without shaving your legs? let's see.... how many months was i pregnant and alone because my hubby was deployed overseas? that's right. enough to make my Razor try to dive into the toilet to avoid the Shear Terror (pun!) that was sure to ensue when i finally decided that the nurses at the hospital would probably not appreciate having to run their fingers through my leg-hair while delivering my child.
28. Which finger is your favorite? -- i confess i made up this question. the other one was intolerable. let's see. favorite finger. gonna have to say my left thumb. it's proportionally my slimmest digit, and i broke it when i was 9 and it clicks and sticks now. it's special. we're friends. *tiny finger embrace*
29. Have you ever said something because you thought it was funny, but right after you say it you wish you hadn't? yes, but i usually follow it up with "wow this humble pie is delicious" or "i need some toast for this toe jam that i have stuck between my teeth as a result of having shoved my entire foot into my oral cavity". and that cancels out my audible faux pax and gets me off the hook. win.
30. What does subpoena mean? it means that i am also going to super glue my fingernail clipping from the last year to your bedroom floor. congratulations. Nail Clippings Carpet. enjoy.
31. Did you think about going to dictionary.com to look it up? i thought about also adding ketchup to your shower head so that you get a nice surprise tomorrow when you get in the shower to wash off your daily amassing of Stupid and Shame.
32. When was your last date? PreValentine's day, which is when the CUSTERS properly celebrate love and togetherness. but that's another story for another day. or maybe not. it gets a little icky. Mike know's what i'm talking about. there was definitely vomit involved. and duck pancakes. i'm serious. duck pancakes.
33. How many MySpace friends do you have? haha, zero. not even Tom wants to be my friend. but i do have 450 friends on Facebook. feel free to find and add me, readers. smiley face. i'd love to have you!
34. Have you ever peed in the shower? yes. as Nemo said, all drains lead to the ocean. so... actually no, then. because technically i'm peeing in the ocean. and they thought BP was the one killing plankton or whatever it was. Algae? who cares. i'm over it. on to the next disaster.
35. Can you count to 20 in Spanish? claro que si. y yo soy una Chola, y te voy a matar. so there.
36. Anything really odd turn you on? when i walk around in a little undershirt and my Cheeky Power Undies. it makes me feel sexy. which is saying something because mostly i just feel like a gelatenous blob of eww.
37. How do you hold the steering wheel when you're driving? 10 and 2. because i am an adult.
38. How would you describe your high school experience in exactly 5 words? Dancing concerts eat discovery unicorns. whew. Go ME!!!
39. Is Alex Trebek the smartest man alive? negative. my Daddy is!!
40. What celebrity do you look most like? I've heard Meryl Streep. you decide:
41. How often do you change your MySpace song? about as often as i play my records or put on my poodle skirt.
42. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 4. which i know is kind of scant for a woman. i need some sandals...
43. Are your earlobes attached or unattached? swinging so fancy free....
44. Did you just touch an ear to check? ugh. yes. you got me. is this survey over yet? i don't think i'll ever do this again.
45. Which is grosser: finger hair or toe hair? toe hair most definitely. it incubates all day in sweaty feet juices which adds to the repulsion. although finger hair is also far from sexy. SHAVE YOUR HANDS, ROBERT PATTINSON. no one wants to see your gorilla knuckles caressing ANYONE.
46. What time is it now? Hammer Time. don't make me tell you again.
47. How much ice do you put in your drinks? none. i have no patience for ice. it's never on my side. it blocks the flow of liquid from entering my mouth, and then it gangs up on me and jumps me when i'm not expecting it at the end of my drinking experience.
48. How often do you floss? maybe once a week. i'm a model citizen.
49. Does lip gloss really "pop?" Once when i was 12 i wrote "no body likes me, everybody hates me, i guess i'll just go home and commit suicide" on my desk because i was tired of being teased and crying every day, and the next day the teacher called me up to her desk and yelled at me for it. which did not help things. bottom line; if you run across a child writing or saying things like that, MAYBE you should take it SERIOUSLY. maybe they'd have less mental issues as adults and they wouldn't feel the urge to vomit everytime after they ate.
50. Do you watch the Super Bowl just for the commercials? guilty. unless the Broncos are playing. the Texans will get there eventually. i firmly believe in Texas football. except the stupid cowboys.
51. Do you know anyone who is Canadian? MYYYYY SHELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and if she's not... then... she wants to be? i dunno. I'm sorry Shelly, i've wanted to give you a shout-out this whole survey and we got to this one and you were the first person i thought of!! Love ya! and thanks for the idea to do a survey. i'm having fun! and hopefully my readers are too...
52. Do you have a farmer's tan? HA!! no. i have Mama's tan. which is NO tan. not even old tan lines. it's been almost 2 years since i've been outside to sunbathe. sigh. i'd call my color "eggshell white".
53. Do you like licking the sticky part of the envelope? only if it's sweet. but i've switched to tape. i'm afraid of anthrax. yes. still.
54. Which foot hits the floor first when you get out of bed? the tired one.
55. Who was the US's only bachelor President? Obama!! oh, you didn't say Frat Boy? sorry. my bad. shouldn't just skim over the questions before i answer them.
56. What's your favorite Tom Hanks movie? i like the one where he plays a hunter/gatherer hippie that develops multiple personality disorder and then travels to the future where his woman is married to someone else and life sucks all the way around. i think it was called "WILLLLLLSSSSOOOOOONNNNNNNN!!!".
well, i hope y'all enjoyed that. i'm going to go downstairs and saw off my left leg because it's just about to murder me with pain until i die from it. also i'm thirsty. leave comments!
and get to sleep yourselves. President's day only comes once a year, after all.
i've got my headphones on, my itunes set to my current favorite songs (mostly from the Glee soundtracks, some Florence and The Machine, and i admit, a little Britney Spears), and one of my cats curled up at my feet.
it's go time.
Krista's Dumb Survey That I Found Floating About Wildly In CyberSpace:
1. What's your most favorite bumper sticker you've ever seen? It had 4 deformed smiley faces on it and it read "Discourage Inbreeding, Ban Country Music". Kristen Rains knows what I'm talking about. We were 14ish and it was about the funniest thing we'd ever seen. I have yet to see one that tops it in both shock value and mirth.
2. Do you sing in the shower? Often and Poorly. Also I hold conversations with myself. I have to. If i get too bored i end up just standing there letting the water roll over me as i fall deeper and deeper into a vegetative state. that's how zombies are REALLY created.
3. Are you guilty of showing to much PDA? Don't be ridiculous. I hug and kiss and tiny-hump with reckless abandon. Why, just tonight i groped my husbands man-boobs quite vehemently at a Going Away/Get Together/Barbeque at a friend's house. I have no shame. Life is too short to be embarassed about cupping your husbands junk in public. Not that I do. Well, not that often anyways.
4. What's the best smell in the world? My little baby boy after he's had Bathtime. He's all full of joy and reeks of Johnson's baby detergent or whatever it's called and it's just magical. Love my boy.
5. Which of your current friends have you known the longest? oh sheesh. um.... That'd be my JESSICA!!!she's about as goofy as i am, and that's what makes her a rock star.
6. Do you say Ca-RI-bbean or Carib-BE-an? RI. what a stupid question. who screens these?
7. Do you drip-dry after a shower/bath? No. i am not a dog. nor am i a wildebeest. also, i am not a child, raised by wolves, living amongst the lush flora of the tropics. i have a humongous bath SHEET, not towel, that i wrap around and around my person upon exiting the Cleansing Portal.
8. For toilet paper: Do you wad or fold it before use? I believe that we should Hybrid-itize everything. Therefore, i do both. i also charge my toilet paper, as well as fill it with premium gasoline. it's all about taking those baby steps towards a greener lifestyle.
9. What's the best animal to sing about in Old McDonald? WOMBATS. hands down. without a doubt. it just gets a tad tricky when you get to the part where you have to sing about the sound they make.... They definitely do not say "wombat wombat" as i have been informed. i still hold that they might. it's not impossible; therefore it should not be discounted. I'm not about to label wombats as lesser creatures that can't even say their own names.
10. If you could paint your room any way you want it, what would it look like? it would look like the inside of Candy Mountain. Complete with lickable paint. The Schnauzberries taste like Schnauzberries.
11. Have you ever flipped off your mother or father? never. I do not want to die.
12. Which of your closest friends would be easiest to date? oh. um.... sheesh. uh.... MY HUSBAND!!!!! again, stupid question. i WILL smack you upside da hed.
13. Which of your closest friends would be hardest to date? ugh. this survey was clearly manufactured for 13 year olds. no offense to any 13 year old readers that i might possibly have out there in InterwebLand.
14. Do you have a favorite pair of underwear? Absolutely i do. they're white (because white is my favorite...shade... to wear) and they have lace and little bows on the hips and say stuff all over them. i'd write what they say, but i can't remember and my Naughties Drawer is all the way over there and my bed is sooo comfy....
15. If so, what do they look like? oh. oops. um, let's just say you didn't skip number 14 because you were bored to thick, bloody tears.
16. Do you always use your turn signal? yes. so much in fact that i am becoming that Old Inept Woman Driver that leaves her turn signal on as she drives down the road, under the speed limit, not turning or having any intention to turn.
17. Have you ever played Spin the Bottle? ooh. i have actually. maybe... 4 years ago? i'd never played before and i wanted to check it off of my bucket list. it got a little weird. we had the rule that the bottle landed where it landed, and you had to kiss the person it landed on, even if it was same sex. and there had to be tongue. and it had to be at least 3 seconds. oddly enough, the guys attacked it with gusto when it landed on another guy. it's always more fun when everyone commits, i suppose. winky smiley face.
18. Have you ever dated someone that your closest friend didn't approve of? dude, who cares.
19. Can you do a cartwheel? Hell yeah I can do a cartwheel. What kind of un-American theiving thug bunny-killer do you think i am? Of course i can do a f*cking cartwheel.
20. What time is it? it always is and forever will be Hammer Time. Can't touch this. I'm too legit.
21. Do you ever check surveys for correct spelling and grammar? Life is also too short to worry about spelling and grammar when you're posting a survey just for shytes and giggles on your blog page that you keep up to entertain, and not make millions of dollars from. Also Capitalization. i'll make big letters when i FEEL like making big letters.
22. Did it bother you I ended a question with a preposition? Screw you and your preposition. though i admit that at first my brain read the word "proposition" and that i was puzzled for a moment thinking "hey,.... i didn't see any proposition..."
23. Do you know what a preposition is? A preposition is where you get too damn lazy to think of another thought provoking question so you start lecturing us all on parts of speech with a "holier than thou" attitude that is not appreciated and will no longer be tolerated. I'm going to find your house and write the word FART on all of your windows with superglue and gummy bears. you're welcome for the Permanent Delicious Treat.
24. Type of internet connection? i have one. why does it matter. doesn't just about everyone have cable these days? does anyone still dial up? leave me a comment if you do and i will send you a check so that you can have normal interwebs like the rest of us, you poor dears.
25. Did you ever play in boxes as a kid? YES!!! we cut out windows and hung Fabric Scrap Curtains and drew furniture on the inner walls in chalk and just had the best time. screw these thousand dollar playhouses kids have nowadays. cardboard boxes are the shit.
26. Do you know anyone who doesn't like chocolate? my poor future sister in law Crystal. she's allergic. i weep for all that she's missing. although, she's hella skinnier than i am. so maybe i should find some Chocolate Death Allergic pills and get me some I-May-Die-If-I-Eat-This-Cheesecake in me.
27. What's the longest time you've gone without shaving your legs? let's see.... how many months was i pregnant and alone because my hubby was deployed overseas? that's right. enough to make my Razor try to dive into the toilet to avoid the Shear Terror (pun!) that was sure to ensue when i finally decided that the nurses at the hospital would probably not appreciate having to run their fingers through my leg-hair while delivering my child.
28. Which finger is your favorite? -- i confess i made up this question. the other one was intolerable. let's see. favorite finger. gonna have to say my left thumb. it's proportionally my slimmest digit, and i broke it when i was 9 and it clicks and sticks now. it's special. we're friends. *tiny finger embrace*
29. Have you ever said something because you thought it was funny, but right after you say it you wish you hadn't? yes, but i usually follow it up with "wow this humble pie is delicious" or "i need some toast for this toe jam that i have stuck between my teeth as a result of having shoved my entire foot into my oral cavity". and that cancels out my audible faux pax and gets me off the hook. win.
30. What does subpoena mean? it means that i am also going to super glue my fingernail clipping from the last year to your bedroom floor. congratulations. Nail Clippings Carpet. enjoy.
31. Did you think about going to dictionary.com to look it up? i thought about also adding ketchup to your shower head so that you get a nice surprise tomorrow when you get in the shower to wash off your daily amassing of Stupid and Shame.
32. When was your last date? PreValentine's day, which is when the CUSTERS properly celebrate love and togetherness. but that's another story for another day. or maybe not. it gets a little icky. Mike know's what i'm talking about. there was definitely vomit involved. and duck pancakes. i'm serious. duck pancakes.
33. How many MySpace friends do you have? haha, zero. not even Tom wants to be my friend. but i do have 450 friends on Facebook. feel free to find and add me, readers. smiley face. i'd love to have you!
34. Have you ever peed in the shower? yes. as Nemo said, all drains lead to the ocean. so... actually no, then. because technically i'm peeing in the ocean. and they thought BP was the one killing plankton or whatever it was. Algae? who cares. i'm over it. on to the next disaster.
35. Can you count to 20 in Spanish? claro que si. y yo soy una Chola, y te voy a matar. so there.
36. Anything really odd turn you on? when i walk around in a little undershirt and my Cheeky Power Undies. it makes me feel sexy. which is saying something because mostly i just feel like a gelatenous blob of eww.
37. How do you hold the steering wheel when you're driving? 10 and 2. because i am an adult.
38. How would you describe your high school experience in exactly 5 words? Dancing concerts eat discovery unicorns. whew. Go ME!!!
39. Is Alex Trebek the smartest man alive? negative. my Daddy is!!
40. What celebrity do you look most like? I've heard Meryl Streep. you decide:
41. How often do you change your MySpace song? about as often as i play my records or put on my poodle skirt.
42. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 4. which i know is kind of scant for a woman. i need some sandals...
43. Are your earlobes attached or unattached? swinging so fancy free....
44. Did you just touch an ear to check? ugh. yes. you got me. is this survey over yet? i don't think i'll ever do this again.
45. Which is grosser: finger hair or toe hair? toe hair most definitely. it incubates all day in sweaty feet juices which adds to the repulsion. although finger hair is also far from sexy. SHAVE YOUR HANDS, ROBERT PATTINSON. no one wants to see your gorilla knuckles caressing ANYONE.
46. What time is it now? Hammer Time. don't make me tell you again.
47. How much ice do you put in your drinks? none. i have no patience for ice. it's never on my side. it blocks the flow of liquid from entering my mouth, and then it gangs up on me and jumps me when i'm not expecting it at the end of my drinking experience.
48. How often do you floss? maybe once a week. i'm a model citizen.
49. Does lip gloss really "pop?" Once when i was 12 i wrote "no body likes me, everybody hates me, i guess i'll just go home and commit suicide" on my desk because i was tired of being teased and crying every day, and the next day the teacher called me up to her desk and yelled at me for it. which did not help things. bottom line; if you run across a child writing or saying things like that, MAYBE you should take it SERIOUSLY. maybe they'd have less mental issues as adults and they wouldn't feel the urge to vomit everytime after they ate.
50. Do you watch the Super Bowl just for the commercials? guilty. unless the Broncos are playing. the Texans will get there eventually. i firmly believe in Texas football. except the stupid cowboys.
51. Do you know anyone who is Canadian? MYYYYY SHELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and if she's not... then... she wants to be? i dunno. I'm sorry Shelly, i've wanted to give you a shout-out this whole survey and we got to this one and you were the first person i thought of!! Love ya! and thanks for the idea to do a survey. i'm having fun! and hopefully my readers are too...
52. Do you have a farmer's tan? HA!! no. i have Mama's tan. which is NO tan. not even old tan lines. it's been almost 2 years since i've been outside to sunbathe. sigh. i'd call my color "eggshell white".
53. Do you like licking the sticky part of the envelope? only if it's sweet. but i've switched to tape. i'm afraid of anthrax. yes. still.
54. Which foot hits the floor first when you get out of bed? the tired one.
55. Who was the US's only bachelor President? Obama!! oh, you didn't say Frat Boy? sorry. my bad. shouldn't just skim over the questions before i answer them.
56. What's your favorite Tom Hanks movie? i like the one where he plays a hunter/gatherer hippie that develops multiple personality disorder and then travels to the future where his woman is married to someone else and life sucks all the way around. i think it was called "WILLLLLLSSSSOOOOOONNNNNNNN!!!".
well, i hope y'all enjoyed that. i'm going to go downstairs and saw off my left leg because it's just about to murder me with pain until i die from it. also i'm thirsty. leave comments!
and get to sleep yourselves. President's day only comes once a year, after all.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Merrily Moving to Maryland
i had a lot of things in mind to write about when i sat down a few minutes ago, but now that i'm trying to get it all typed out i feel like i've been lobotomized.
i tried for a few posts to write with correct grammer and punctuation and junk, but all that attention to detail is just exhausting, and i don't have the patience or the energy.
what i DO have the energy for, however, is rockin' my body to old-school N*Sync and Backstreet boys today. maybe some B-Spears. the show Glee needs to do a boy-band episode. and i'm not talking dumbass bieber or jonas brothers. i wanna see some authentic New Kids On The Block. i wanna shake my Right Stuff as they sing about it. they did a Britney episode.... where is my Justin Timberlake? i guess they just need to hire me and pick my brain for music selections.
in other news; i told myself that i'd wait until i hit 130 lbs before i dyed my hair again, but here i am at 136 with freshly dyed hair. the box says it's "light ash brown". it promises that its beige tones will "subdue red or orange tones" so here's hoping that when it dries it will look better, because right now it's lookin' a hot mess and it's terrifying.
i decided to jump the proverbial gun with my hair because i figure that any day now i'll be knocked up, and "they" frown upon copious amounts of chemicals in/on/around the body in the first trimester. and i don't want to have a freak offspring.
Big News: The Flexible One is moving to Maryland. i repeat; Maryland. what.... is in.... Maryland. if i'm not mistaken it's a teensy tiny state that can be driven across in a matter of 3 hours or so. sigh. someday i'll be living in a state that takes DAYS to drive across again. someday. i think i'll do some research to see what MD has to offer me in the way of merriment and entertainment. the only point of reference i have for that state is an odd girl that transferred to my elementary school in 4th grade or so named Jade. and for a 4th grader, she was an awfully practiced habitual liar. hopefully she was just one of a kind and the rest of the Marylanders (as i assume they are called) are decent individuals.
i've decided that i need to be more neighborly. i made some chocolate fudge cupcakes with fresh vanilla cream cheese frosting from scratch a week ago to give to our new neighbors two doors down. yesterday i saw more new neighbors moving into the townhome three doors down. and as soon as Mike and the WonderBoy wake up, i figure i'll throw on a decent outfit and take over a plate of the double chocolate chunk cookies that i made last night over there. hehe. don't you wish you were my neighbor? my next neighbors better watch out; i'm bringin' the baked goods. their waistlines are 'bout to explode.
gotta make myself feel skinnier somehow.
speaking of which, i'm wriggling into my pre-pregnancy jeans more easily these days. i put them on yesterday and i didn't even have to spray my theighs down with Pam to help them slide on. my poor belt, though. it was working it'sself to the bone yesterday. also, several times after bending down to scoop up the Super Baby i had to check to make sure that my chubby cheeks hadn't ripped through the seat of my distressed pants.
in other news; i'm fairly sure that i'm probably definitely already pregnant. i'm still crying every day over songs that i hear, and i'm all emotional and junk. hmm. i'll keep y'all posted on the Spawn-o-meter. i'm clocking in at a rating of Hormonal-yet-too-early-to-pee-on-a-stick. at tepid 4.5 on the Knocked Uppometer.
i just stretched to the side to pop my back and started blacking out. let's go get a drink of water....
My Favorite Things Today:
1) Loose pants. my legs and ass are tired from being so tightly confined in size 3 jeans all day yesterday when they've been conditioned to live in a nice, comfy, roomy size 6.
2) My boys, of course. and let's pretend that i put this as number 1. i'd go back and change it but i'm just so lazy today.
3) i got Mike something pretty neat for Valentine's day. which we are celebrating early, tomorrow. he might think it's dumb, but i got a pretty good kick out of it. more to follow.
4) Lady Gaga's new song Born This Way. it's empowering; i don't care who you are, how you live, who you love, it's an anthem for being true to yourself and loving who you are. give it a listen: http://www.ladygaga.com/bornthisway/?utm_source=GagaFBv2&utm_medium=Link&utm_campaign=BTWSingle
5) i finally found (thanks to Mike) a song that sings about cake. it's the song in the credits for a game called Portal. i am determined to learn it so i can sing it all the time to his chagrin. he will rue the day he tried to get me to play his stupid video games. muah hahahahaha!
6) i've discovered that instead of going out and buying one of those circular thera-bands to work out with, i can use one of these rubber-hairbands that slips off of my impossibly cone-shaped head. it works just as well and now i finally have a use for them.
7) Mike wants to name our next kid Teva if it's a girl. i love the name Esmerie and he hates it. i'm willing to concede to naming her Tevva Esmerie, if we spell it with two Vs.
8) Dog Days Are Over by Florence and The Machine.
9) Suck-'Em-In-Extra-Skin/Fat-Support shirts. cuz even little ladies need some help in the tummy department after losing 66 pounds.
10) Dancing around the living room with wild abandon to upbeat songs that you went through puberty to.
leave me some love, y'all. and enjoy yourselves.
"no matter gay, straight, or bi, transgendered life, you're on the right track baby; you were born this way!"
give yourself a hug, and know that at the end of the day, you are MORE than enough.
i tried for a few posts to write with correct grammer and punctuation and junk, but all that attention to detail is just exhausting, and i don't have the patience or the energy.
what i DO have the energy for, however, is rockin' my body to old-school N*Sync and Backstreet boys today. maybe some B-Spears. the show Glee needs to do a boy-band episode. and i'm not talking dumbass bieber or jonas brothers. i wanna see some authentic New Kids On The Block. i wanna shake my Right Stuff as they sing about it. they did a Britney episode.... where is my Justin Timberlake? i guess they just need to hire me and pick my brain for music selections.
in other news; i told myself that i'd wait until i hit 130 lbs before i dyed my hair again, but here i am at 136 with freshly dyed hair. the box says it's "light ash brown". it promises that its beige tones will "subdue red or orange tones" so here's hoping that when it dries it will look better, because right now it's lookin' a hot mess and it's terrifying.
i decided to jump the proverbial gun with my hair because i figure that any day now i'll be knocked up, and "they" frown upon copious amounts of chemicals in/on/around the body in the first trimester. and i don't want to have a freak offspring.
Big News: The Flexible One is moving to Maryland. i repeat; Maryland. what.... is in.... Maryland. if i'm not mistaken it's a teensy tiny state that can be driven across in a matter of 3 hours or so. sigh. someday i'll be living in a state that takes DAYS to drive across again. someday. i think i'll do some research to see what MD has to offer me in the way of merriment and entertainment. the only point of reference i have for that state is an odd girl that transferred to my elementary school in 4th grade or so named Jade. and for a 4th grader, she was an awfully practiced habitual liar. hopefully she was just one of a kind and the rest of the Marylanders (as i assume they are called) are decent individuals.
i've decided that i need to be more neighborly. i made some chocolate fudge cupcakes with fresh vanilla cream cheese frosting from scratch a week ago to give to our new neighbors two doors down. yesterday i saw more new neighbors moving into the townhome three doors down. and as soon as Mike and the WonderBoy wake up, i figure i'll throw on a decent outfit and take over a plate of the double chocolate chunk cookies that i made last night over there. hehe. don't you wish you were my neighbor? my next neighbors better watch out; i'm bringin' the baked goods. their waistlines are 'bout to explode.
gotta make myself feel skinnier somehow.
speaking of which, i'm wriggling into my pre-pregnancy jeans more easily these days. i put them on yesterday and i didn't even have to spray my theighs down with Pam to help them slide on. my poor belt, though. it was working it'sself to the bone yesterday. also, several times after bending down to scoop up the Super Baby i had to check to make sure that my chubby cheeks hadn't ripped through the seat of my distressed pants.
in other news; i'm fairly sure that i'm probably definitely already pregnant. i'm still crying every day over songs that i hear, and i'm all emotional and junk. hmm. i'll keep y'all posted on the Spawn-o-meter. i'm clocking in at a rating of Hormonal-yet-too-early-to-pee-on-a-stick. at tepid 4.5 on the Knocked Uppometer.
i just stretched to the side to pop my back and started blacking out. let's go get a drink of water....
My Favorite Things Today:
1) Loose pants. my legs and ass are tired from being so tightly confined in size 3 jeans all day yesterday when they've been conditioned to live in a nice, comfy, roomy size 6.
2) My boys, of course. and let's pretend that i put this as number 1. i'd go back and change it but i'm just so lazy today.
3) i got Mike something pretty neat for Valentine's day. which we are celebrating early, tomorrow. he might think it's dumb, but i got a pretty good kick out of it. more to follow.
4) Lady Gaga's new song Born This Way. it's empowering; i don't care who you are, how you live, who you love, it's an anthem for being true to yourself and loving who you are. give it a listen: http://www.ladygaga.com/bornthisway/?utm_source=GagaFBv2&utm_medium=Link&utm_campaign=BTWSingle
5) i finally found (thanks to Mike) a song that sings about cake. it's the song in the credits for a game called Portal. i am determined to learn it so i can sing it all the time to his chagrin. he will rue the day he tried to get me to play his stupid video games. muah hahahahaha!
6) i've discovered that instead of going out and buying one of those circular thera-bands to work out with, i can use one of these rubber-hairbands that slips off of my impossibly cone-shaped head. it works just as well and now i finally have a use for them.
7) Mike wants to name our next kid Teva if it's a girl. i love the name Esmerie and he hates it. i'm willing to concede to naming her Tevva Esmerie, if we spell it with two Vs.
8) Dog Days Are Over by Florence and The Machine.
9) Suck-'Em-In-Extra-Skin/Fat-Support shirts. cuz even little ladies need some help in the tummy department after losing 66 pounds.
10) Dancing around the living room with wild abandon to upbeat songs that you went through puberty to.
leave me some love, y'all. and enjoy yourselves.
"no matter gay, straight, or bi, transgendered life, you're on the right track baby; you were born this way!"
give yourself a hug, and know that at the end of the day, you are MORE than enough.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Bastard Mini-blinds had it comin'
I'm becoming more and more like my husband every day.
Today I broke nay, shattered, the second set of mini-blinds in our apartment within two weeks. The first set i sic'd the vacuum on. This set I took out with sheer brute force. I guess I just felt like flexing The Hounds otherwise known as my beastly forearms. Anyway. They had it coming.
Kept giving me the stank eye.
Internet scammers are stupid.
I put up a post on Craigslist in hopes of selling the $6,400 dollar diamond ring that I got stuck paying for 4 years ago, and the only responses I've gotten have been from dumbasses that are trying to get one over on me.
Since WHEN do WOMEN offer to buy a ring advertised for $5000 MORE than the asking price for a "dear friend", and need it shipped overseas, and they always ask for my PayPal account and never give a shipping address. Dumb. Just how stupid do you have to be to get suckered into getting your money stolen on the interwebs...
I just wish someone that was ACTUALLY interested in buying the ring would email me.
anywho.
I dunno. I thought about doing a full-out post, but I'm just too tired. My Perfect Darling Angel Child had a hard day today which translates to me holding him most of the day so I'm bushed.
Like two birds.
Krista's Thoughts Before Bedtime:
1.) The superbowl is stupid. I miss football. Actual. Football. College ball. High School ball. I miss when it was exciting and junk and not about over-the-top pageantry and commercials and commentary. Blood, sweat, and that Hometown feeling. sigh.
2.) Forget pet brushes; my run-of-the-mill hair comb works better for taming my little lions' fur.
3.) Today Ronin got to be Spock. He hurt his little fingers and the way I bandaged them up made him look like he was telling people to "live long and prosper" all day.
4.) Two people told me that I look skinny today. And they're not related to me. Win.
5.) I ate healthy food at the superbowl party today. By default. Ronin wanted to play with the veggies, but he wouldn't eat them; he instead put them in my mouth and laughed while I ate them. Then he stole the fried mozzarella cheese stick out of my hand and ate it before I could get more than one bite in. What a sweet boy, helping mama stay skinny.
6.) Damn that Kardashian woman and her impossibly perky perfect body. No one can live up to that physical standard. Well, no one who's name is Krista Custer who's had a kid and whose skin is riddled with deep purple stretch marks. Did I just make you throw up a little bit?
7.) I've decided, after watching it non-stop this Saturday, that I am officially a Gleek and will be watching the show for the forseeable future.
8.) I think I'm ready for menopause. Mood swings are one of God's cruelest jokes. That and the poor platypus. The kids at school must have really had a field day making fun of him.
9.) I wish my hair would grow faster. I wish it were more like that of a football player's hair; long, flowing, majestic.
10) It must be terrible to be a janitor that works after the superbowl ends. All that confetti. All that glitter. All that spilled beer. All that puke...
Today I broke nay, shattered, the second set of mini-blinds in our apartment within two weeks. The first set i sic'd the vacuum on. This set I took out with sheer brute force. I guess I just felt like flexing The Hounds otherwise known as my beastly forearms. Anyway. They had it coming.
Kept giving me the stank eye.
Internet scammers are stupid.
I put up a post on Craigslist in hopes of selling the $6,400 dollar diamond ring that I got stuck paying for 4 years ago, and the only responses I've gotten have been from dumbasses that are trying to get one over on me.
Since WHEN do WOMEN offer to buy a ring advertised for $5000 MORE than the asking price for a "dear friend", and need it shipped overseas, and they always ask for my PayPal account and never give a shipping address. Dumb. Just how stupid do you have to be to get suckered into getting your money stolen on the interwebs...
I just wish someone that was ACTUALLY interested in buying the ring would email me.
anywho.
I dunno. I thought about doing a full-out post, but I'm just too tired. My Perfect Darling Angel Child had a hard day today which translates to me holding him most of the day so I'm bushed.
Like two birds.
Krista's Thoughts Before Bedtime:
1.) The superbowl is stupid. I miss football. Actual. Football. College ball. High School ball. I miss when it was exciting and junk and not about over-the-top pageantry and commercials and commentary. Blood, sweat, and that Hometown feeling. sigh.
2.) Forget pet brushes; my run-of-the-mill hair comb works better for taming my little lions' fur.
3.) Today Ronin got to be Spock. He hurt his little fingers and the way I bandaged them up made him look like he was telling people to "live long and prosper" all day.
4.) Two people told me that I look skinny today. And they're not related to me. Win.
5.) I ate healthy food at the superbowl party today. By default. Ronin wanted to play with the veggies, but he wouldn't eat them; he instead put them in my mouth and laughed while I ate them. Then he stole the fried mozzarella cheese stick out of my hand and ate it before I could get more than one bite in. What a sweet boy, helping mama stay skinny.
6.) Damn that Kardashian woman and her impossibly perky perfect body. No one can live up to that physical standard. Well, no one who's name is Krista Custer who's had a kid and whose skin is riddled with deep purple stretch marks. Did I just make you throw up a little bit?
7.) I've decided, after watching it non-stop this Saturday, that I am officially a Gleek and will be watching the show for the forseeable future.
8.) I think I'm ready for menopause. Mood swings are one of God's cruelest jokes. That and the poor platypus. The kids at school must have really had a field day making fun of him.
9.) I wish my hair would grow faster. I wish it were more like that of a football player's hair; long, flowing, majestic.
10) It must be terrible to be a janitor that works after the superbowl ends. All that confetti. All that glitter. All that spilled beer. All that puke...
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