i had a lot of things in mind to write about when i sat down a few minutes ago, but now that i'm trying to get it all typed out i feel like i've been lobotomized.
i tried for a few posts to write with correct grammer and punctuation and junk, but all that attention to detail is just exhausting, and i don't have the patience or the energy.
what i DO have the energy for, however, is rockin' my body to old-school N*Sync and Backstreet boys today. maybe some B-Spears. the show Glee needs to do a boy-band episode. and i'm not talking dumbass bieber or jonas brothers. i wanna see some authentic New Kids On The Block. i wanna shake my Right Stuff as they sing about it. they did a Britney episode.... where is my Justin Timberlake? i guess they just need to hire me and pick my brain for music selections.
in other news; i told myself that i'd wait until i hit 130 lbs before i dyed my hair again, but here i am at 136 with freshly dyed hair. the box says it's "light ash brown". it promises that its beige tones will "subdue red or orange tones" so here's hoping that when it dries it will look better, because right now it's lookin' a hot mess and it's terrifying.
i decided to jump the proverbial gun with my hair because i figure that any day now i'll be knocked up, and "they" frown upon copious amounts of chemicals in/on/around the body in the first trimester. and i don't want to have a freak offspring.
Big News: The Flexible One is moving to Maryland. i repeat; Maryland. what.... is in.... Maryland. if i'm not mistaken it's a teensy tiny state that can be driven across in a matter of 3 hours or so. sigh. someday i'll be living in a state that takes DAYS to drive across again. someday. i think i'll do some research to see what MD has to offer me in the way of merriment and entertainment. the only point of reference i have for that state is an odd girl that transferred to my elementary school in 4th grade or so named Jade. and for a 4th grader, she was an awfully practiced habitual liar. hopefully she was just one of a kind and the rest of the Marylanders (as i assume they are called) are decent individuals.
i've decided that i need to be more neighborly. i made some chocolate fudge cupcakes with fresh vanilla cream cheese frosting from scratch a week ago to give to our new neighbors two doors down. yesterday i saw more new neighbors moving into the townhome three doors down. and as soon as Mike and the WonderBoy wake up, i figure i'll throw on a decent outfit and take over a plate of the double chocolate chunk cookies that i made last night over there. hehe. don't you wish you were my neighbor? my next neighbors better watch out; i'm bringin' the baked goods. their waistlines are 'bout to explode.
gotta make myself feel skinnier somehow.
speaking of which, i'm wriggling into my pre-pregnancy jeans more easily these days. i put them on yesterday and i didn't even have to spray my theighs down with Pam to help them slide on. my poor belt, though. it was working it'sself to the bone yesterday. also, several times after bending down to scoop up the Super Baby i had to check to make sure that my chubby cheeks hadn't ripped through the seat of my distressed pants.
in other news; i'm fairly sure that i'm probably definitely already pregnant. i'm still crying every day over songs that i hear, and i'm all emotional and junk. hmm. i'll keep y'all posted on the Spawn-o-meter. i'm clocking in at a rating of Hormonal-yet-too-early-to-pee-on-a-stick. at tepid 4.5 on the Knocked Uppometer.
i just stretched to the side to pop my back and started blacking out. let's go get a drink of water....
My Favorite Things Today:
1) Loose pants. my legs and ass are tired from being so tightly confined in size 3 jeans all day yesterday when they've been conditioned to live in a nice, comfy, roomy size 6.
2) My boys, of course. and let's pretend that i put this as number 1. i'd go back and change it but i'm just so lazy today.
3) i got Mike something pretty neat for Valentine's day. which we are celebrating early, tomorrow. he might think it's dumb, but i got a pretty good kick out of it. more to follow.
4) Lady Gaga's new song Born This Way. it's empowering; i don't care who you are, how you live, who you love, it's an anthem for being true to yourself and loving who you are. give it a listen: http://www.ladygaga.com/bornthisway/?utm_source=GagaFBv2&utm_medium=Link&utm_campaign=BTWSingle
5) i finally found (thanks to Mike) a song that sings about cake. it's the song in the credits for a game called Portal. i am determined to learn it so i can sing it all the time to his chagrin. he will rue the day he tried to get me to play his stupid video games. muah hahahahaha!
6) i've discovered that instead of going out and buying one of those circular thera-bands to work out with, i can use one of these rubber-hairbands that slips off of my impossibly cone-shaped head. it works just as well and now i finally have a use for them.
7) Mike wants to name our next kid Teva if it's a girl. i love the name Esmerie and he hates it. i'm willing to concede to naming her Tevva Esmerie, if we spell it with two Vs.
8) Dog Days Are Over by Florence and The Machine.
9) Suck-'Em-In-Extra-Skin/Fat-Support shirts. cuz even little ladies need some help in the tummy department after losing 66 pounds.
10) Dancing around the living room with wild abandon to upbeat songs that you went through puberty to.
leave me some love, y'all. and enjoy yourselves.
"no matter gay, straight, or bi, transgendered life, you're on the right track baby; you were born this way!"
give yourself a hug, and know that at the end of the day, you are MORE than enough.
Showing posts with label sing-along. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sing-along. Show all posts
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Friday, July 30, 2010
i want a bronzed statue of Neil Patrick Harris
you know you're in Georgia when all the local television ads use either race cars or hillbillies holding dogs to sell you their products. sometimes they'll use some drawl slathered slang spittin' bimbo with a diastema a mile wide.
just really classy stuff.
you know every time i hear or say the word "ultimatum" i think "old tomato" which doesn't make any sense at all. why would one give someone an old tomato? old tomatoes are good for one thing and one thing only; placing it on your buddy's chair inconspicuously so that when they sit down there is a sickening squish and they are left with a souvenier on their pants to remind them of how much you love them.
so.... i just ran my hand through my hair and a bunch of it came out. i did it again to see if maybe the last run-through was just my hair's attempt to get rid of all it's rejects in one fell swoop, but about the same amount came out the second time too. i hope my husband is into shiny and pasty scalps cuz i'm certain that that's what he'll be coming home to.
note to self... google "rogaine for women".... and possibly "effects of miracle grow on scalp of cheapskate woman cuz i hear rogaine ain't cheap".
so my goal for today was to finish getting the house ready for my in-laws who are on their way here, and to paint my fingernails. i achieved 50% of my first goal... no. i don't like how that sounds. sounds too "power point presentation". let's try again.
i epically attained a half-fail at the housework. oh well. Mister If-You-Put-Me-Down-Today-I'll-Cry-At-You-With-Such-Tears-That-You'll-Feel-Like-You-Just-Killed-Your-Pet-Unicorn comes first.
i did get the clear base-coat successfully on my right thumb though. so, 4% win?
i have been prompted to talk about Twilight in tonight's post. and just for Ri-Ri (Auntie Favorite) "oh i could talk about thith for a thouthand rethetheth". what. to say. The Books; terrific. The Movies:... meh. why couldn't they have gotten someone else to play Bella and Edward? If i could pick a different actress to play Bella it would be... Rachel McAdams. i have a HUGE lady-crush on Rachel McAdams. she's cute, she's intelligent, and you can tell that she'd be able to play a clutz sooooo much better than whats-her-face. also... sorry Rob P. you'd be replaced too. and by whom??
NEIL PATRICK MUTHA-LOVIN' HARRIS.
i thank my lucky stars and charms that the great NPH decided to come back after his post-dougie howser hiatus. that man is comedic gold. he captured my heart, my diaphragm, and often the beverage spurting forth from my nostrils. my favorite works of his include the ever so funny Saturday Night Live sketches, his Cocaine laced character on Harold and Kumar do White Castle, How I Met Your Mother, and my new favorite - Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog.
those are my picks. what's that? what TEAM am i on? i am firmly Team Alice! that chick is hot. *sizzle sound*
ugh, i'm corny.
speaking of which. i definitely should NOT have eaten that entire pan of cornbread today. it was just so good... but now i'm paying for it. you think i would have learned from the Great CupCake Disaster of A Week Ago Or Something Like That. at least the eggs and milk are gone so i couldn't really bake anything even if i wanted to. hmm. maybe if i desperately wanted to... i mean the store is like, way over there.
and guess what? y'all get a BONUS ending segment today. You're welcome. Happy Friday.
A Few of Krista's Favorite Quotes:
1. If the Soul dances the body will follow
2. I want a shirt that says "you shot me with your butt".
3. So you're going to kill her? "just for a little while, i'll bring her right back; i promise".
4. Don't ask "can I", ask " I can"!!
5. My strong leg's name is Chuck Norris. My other leg could be a spatula for all I care.
Krista's Tip of the Day:
Drive with your foot out the window. this is the ONLY way to get full use and enjoyment out of your car. in order to optimize your experience, you should stretch beforehand if possible. it is also a good idea to Wear Cool Shades as well as Pump Up Da Jamz. if you follow these simple suggestions, you will soon find yourself enveloped in what i can only describe as a Joyous Blanket of Thrills, Danger, and Potential Traffic Tickets. the latter of which can often be avoided if you happen to be a cute little lady wearing a swimsuit and not much else on your way to the beach. but only if the cop is a young lad. if he's the crotchety old man that stops you the second time that same day once you are within 5 minutes of said beach, you may not be so lucky.
but seriously, let those little piggies fly.
just really classy stuff.
you know every time i hear or say the word "ultimatum" i think "old tomato" which doesn't make any sense at all. why would one give someone an old tomato? old tomatoes are good for one thing and one thing only; placing it on your buddy's chair inconspicuously so that when they sit down there is a sickening squish and they are left with a souvenier on their pants to remind them of how much you love them.
so.... i just ran my hand through my hair and a bunch of it came out. i did it again to see if maybe the last run-through was just my hair's attempt to get rid of all it's rejects in one fell swoop, but about the same amount came out the second time too. i hope my husband is into shiny and pasty scalps cuz i'm certain that that's what he'll be coming home to.
note to self... google "rogaine for women".... and possibly "effects of miracle grow on scalp of cheapskate woman cuz i hear rogaine ain't cheap".
so my goal for today was to finish getting the house ready for my in-laws who are on their way here, and to paint my fingernails. i achieved 50% of my first goal... no. i don't like how that sounds. sounds too "power point presentation". let's try again.
i epically attained a half-fail at the housework. oh well. Mister If-You-Put-Me-Down-Today-I'll-Cry-At-You-With-Such-Tears-That-You'll-Feel-Like-You-Just-Killed-Your-Pet-Unicorn comes first.
i did get the clear base-coat successfully on my right thumb though. so, 4% win?
i have been prompted to talk about Twilight in tonight's post. and just for Ri-Ri (Auntie Favorite) "oh i could talk about thith for a thouthand rethetheth". what. to say. The Books; terrific. The Movies:... meh. why couldn't they have gotten someone else to play Bella and Edward? If i could pick a different actress to play Bella it would be... Rachel McAdams. i have a HUGE lady-crush on Rachel McAdams. she's cute, she's intelligent, and you can tell that she'd be able to play a clutz sooooo much better than whats-her-face. also... sorry Rob P. you'd be replaced too. and by whom??
NEIL PATRICK MUTHA-LOVIN' HARRIS.
i thank my lucky stars and charms that the great NPH decided to come back after his post-dougie howser hiatus. that man is comedic gold. he captured my heart, my diaphragm, and often the beverage spurting forth from my nostrils. my favorite works of his include the ever so funny Saturday Night Live sketches, his Cocaine laced character on Harold and Kumar do White Castle, How I Met Your Mother, and my new favorite - Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog.
those are my picks. what's that? what TEAM am i on? i am firmly Team Alice! that chick is hot. *sizzle sound*
ugh, i'm corny.
speaking of which. i definitely should NOT have eaten that entire pan of cornbread today. it was just so good... but now i'm paying for it. you think i would have learned from the Great CupCake Disaster of A Week Ago Or Something Like That. at least the eggs and milk are gone so i couldn't really bake anything even if i wanted to. hmm. maybe if i desperately wanted to... i mean the store is like, way over there.
and guess what? y'all get a BONUS ending segment today. You're welcome. Happy Friday.
A Few of Krista's Favorite Quotes:
1. If the Soul dances the body will follow
2. I want a shirt that says "you shot me with your butt".
3. So you're going to kill her? "just for a little while, i'll bring her right back; i promise".
4. Don't ask "can I", ask " I can"!!
5. My strong leg's name is Chuck Norris. My other leg could be a spatula for all I care.
Krista's Tip of the Day:
Drive with your foot out the window. this is the ONLY way to get full use and enjoyment out of your car. in order to optimize your experience, you should stretch beforehand if possible. it is also a good idea to Wear Cool Shades as well as Pump Up Da Jamz. if you follow these simple suggestions, you will soon find yourself enveloped in what i can only describe as a Joyous Blanket of Thrills, Danger, and Potential Traffic Tickets. the latter of which can often be avoided if you happen to be a cute little lady wearing a swimsuit and not much else on your way to the beach. but only if the cop is a young lad. if he's the crotchety old man that stops you the second time that same day once you are within 5 minutes of said beach, you may not be so lucky.
but seriously, let those little piggies fly.
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