i want a bronzed statue of Neil Patrick Harris

you know you're in Georgia when all the local television ads use either race cars or hillbillies holding dogs to sell you their products. sometimes they'll use some drawl slathered slang spittin' bimbo with a diastema a mile wide.

just really classy stuff.

you know every time i hear or say the word "ultimatum" i think "old tomato" which doesn't make any sense at all. why would one give someone an old tomato?  old tomatoes are good for one thing and one thing only; placing it on your buddy's chair inconspicuously so that when they sit down there is a sickening squish and they are left with a souvenier on their pants to remind them of how much you love them.

so.... i just ran my hand through my hair and a bunch of it came out. i did it again to see if maybe the last run-through was just my hair's attempt to get rid of all it's rejects in one fell swoop, but about the same amount came out the second time too.  i hope my husband is into shiny and pasty scalps cuz i'm certain that that's what he'll be coming home to.

note to self... google "rogaine for women".... and possibly "effects of miracle grow on scalp of cheapskate woman cuz i hear rogaine ain't cheap".

so my goal for today was to finish getting the house ready for my in-laws who are on their way here, and to paint my fingernails.  i achieved 50% of my first goal... no.   i don't like how that sounds.  sounds too "power point presentation". let's try again.

i epically attained a half-fail at the housework.  oh well. Mister If-You-Put-Me-Down-Today-I'll-Cry-At-You-With-Such-Tears-That-You'll-Feel-Like-You-Just-Killed-Your-Pet-Unicorn comes first.

i did get the clear base-coat successfully on my right thumb though.  so, 4% win?


i have been prompted to talk about Twilight in tonight's post.  and just for Ri-Ri (Auntie Favorite) "oh i could talk about thith for a thouthand rethetheth". what. to say.  The Books; terrific.  The Movies:... meh.  why couldn't they have gotten someone else to play Bella and Edward?  If i could pick a different actress to play Bella it would be... Rachel McAdams.  i have a HUGE lady-crush on Rachel McAdams. she's cute, she's intelligent, and you can tell that she'd be able to play a clutz sooooo much better than whats-her-face.  also... sorry Rob P. you'd be replaced too.  and by whom??

NEIL PATRICK MUTHA-LOVIN' HARRIS. 

i thank my lucky stars and charms that the great NPH decided to come back after his post-dougie howser hiatus.  that man is comedic gold.  he captured my heart, my diaphragm, and often the beverage spurting forth from my nostrils.  my favorite works of his include the ever so funny Saturday Night Live sketches, his Cocaine laced character on Harold and Kumar do White Castle, How I Met Your Mother, and my new favorite - Dr Horrible's Sing Along Blog.

those are my picks.  what's that? what TEAM am i on?  i am firmly Team Alice! that chick is hot. *sizzle sound*

ugh, i'm corny.

speaking of which. i definitely should NOT have eaten that entire pan of cornbread today.  it was just so good... but now i'm paying for it. you think i would have learned from the Great CupCake Disaster of A Week Ago Or Something Like That.  at least the eggs and milk are gone so i couldn't really bake anything even if i wanted to.  hmm. maybe if i desperately wanted to... i mean the store is like, way over there.



and guess what? y'all get a BONUS ending segment today.  You're welcome.  Happy Friday.


A Few of Krista's Favorite Quotes:

1. If the Soul dances the body will follow

2. I want a shirt that says "you shot me with your butt".

3.  So you're going to kill her? "just for a little while, i'll bring her right back; i promise".

4. Don't ask "can I", ask " I can"!!

5. My strong leg's name is Chuck Norris. My other leg could be a spatula for all I care.



Krista's Tip of the Day:

Drive with your foot out the window. this is the ONLY way to get full use and enjoyment out of your car.  in order to optimize your experience, you should stretch beforehand if possible.  it is also a good idea to Wear Cool Shades as well as Pump Up Da Jamz.  if you follow these simple suggestions, you will soon find yourself enveloped in what i can only describe as a Joyous Blanket of Thrills, Danger, and Potential Traffic Tickets.  the latter of which can often be avoided if you happen to be a cute little lady wearing a swimsuit and not much else on your way to the beach.  but only if the cop is a young lad.  if he's the crotchety old man that stops you the second time that same day once you are within 5 minutes of said beach, you may not be so lucky.

but seriously, let those little piggies fly.