it's hard to make connections when you have brain damage.

it occurred to me today that i might, perhaps, have brain damage.

how do i know this, you ask?

the following is the evidence that i have scrounged up.

Physical Clues:
1) i fractured my skull as a baby.

2) i fractured my skull again when i was seven. Lucky me.

3) i do this weird... breathing thing where i make several little sighing/gasping noises in succession. i've done it for years. i don't know why i can't seem to break the habit of doing it.

4) i squeeze my eyes shut then slowly blink them open one at a time and roll my eyes in different directions. all the time. yet another seemingly autonomic bodily function that i can't control. and that was redundant. and repetative. and redundant.

Behavioral Clues:

1) when i was in grade school, we're talking kindergarten through about 5th grade, i used to walk the halls murmuring math problems to myself and pretending that they were waaaaay advanced and that i was solving them in my head so that i'd appear to be "smart". i now understand that when others looked at me it was more likely that they saw "crazy".

2) lately i've discovered that when i'm alone at home, and drinking a glass of water, that i'll lift my glass, wink, and toast..... no one. maybe the walls. or my willow figurine. possibly the refridgerator. i don't really know. it just kind of happens.

3) and it's really no secret that i talk to myself. in basic training my drill sergeant caught me sitting on the floor, looking side to side and having an intense conversation with myself over where i had left my M16 rifle. i've had several other embarrassing such "self-discussions" that i will decine to relate to you at this time. maybe in another post if you're lucky. and if i can remember them...

4) i pee when i laugh too hard. maybe that's not a sign of brain damage. maybe it is. i won't count it out.

5) i hate doughnuts. i've been told that that might also be a sign that my brain has been violently squished in the wrong places.

6) remember my post about my immaculate sense of fashion?


so. i dunno. i think the fact that it's taken me nearly 26 years to make the connection between head trauma, fractured skulls, and behavior that no sane person would ever exhibit is yet another bit of proof that not all of my lights are working upstairs.


but hey, at least i have fun. that's all that matte.... oh hey, soup.




(p.s. please feel free to comment or leave suggestions for future post topics. inspiration comes from everywhere. and tell your friends!)