Saturday, July 24, 2010

Georgia wants me to be fat.

i've said it before and i'll say it again;  Georgia is the most backwards state that i've ever had the displeasure of living in.  it's like the entire state is hell-bent on reversing the evolution and growth of Man.

example.

Friday morning i went to the local YMCA to sign up.  i gained a tad bit too much weight when i was pregnant (went from 126 lbs to 202 lbs.... oops.  damn you taco bell!!)  and i was really excited to get back to the gym and get rid of the JELL-O (tm) that still lurks beneath my surfaces and makes me all jibbly and gross.

yes, jibbly.

but i digress.  i went, signed up, then figured i'd go home, feed my darling son, change into Sweatin' to the Oldies gear, then head back and get my burn on.

and it was a great plan up until i got back to the YMCA.  i was informed that i was an hour too late for the nursery;  they had closed at 1pm and didn't open back up until 4pm.  no problem.  i went home, played with my Slimeysaurus, fed/changed him, then at 4pm got everything ready to go back to the gym.  nothing would stop me now!!

i opened up my front door.

monsoon.

flooding.

apocalyptic downpour.

and a touch of wind.

this is where i got discouraged.  i closed the door, turned around, got the baby out of his bucket (car seat), and decided to try again in an hour if the rain let up.

it did.

so i did.

i FINALLY get to the gym, the nursery was open, dropped off the smiling angel child, and went and gave myself a good old fashioned whooping.

i sweat so much that if someone had collected it as it plummeted from my body, it would have been enough to drown a whale.

think about it.


the moral of the story is:  the Universe and Georgia teamed up to try and keep me from losing my lard, but i gave them a spanking and came out victorious.  though very very sore.  perhaps i should not have tried to lose all the weight at once after doing next to nothing in the "exercise" department for 14 months.


Krista's Bedtime Thoughts:

*a new segment in which i just purge my brain of the thoughts racing around so that i can go to sleep*

1. it's kind of creepy when a guy compliments my boobs, but it feels WONDERFUL when one of my girlfriends tells me that my rack looks awesome.

2. i'm kind of sad that i didn't have a wedding ceremony/reception. all girls deserve to feel like a beautiful princess on that special day and i just feel like an icky lumpy hag.

3. Sensual Amber soap by Bath & Body Works (TM) smells like an old lady, but i really like it anyway.

4. undercooked salmon + standing up for myself and sending it back = free chicken.

5. i think it's hilarious that it scares my son when i burp.

6. an Orange will now be referred to as a "more than Yellow, but less than Red".

7. i wonder if eating the stickers on fruit will cause cancer over time?

8. geez why have i been so farty today?

9. the Hostess at Chili's really need to keep her "stank eye" in check before she gets popped in da mouf.

10. i need to stop typing/laying on my boobs.   i don't want another "milk explosion" like i had two nights ago.

1 comment:

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