Huge Announcement of Success!!!

I now have 10 whole followers on Blogger!! Huzzah! I've finally achieved something. I officially have "done something with" my life.

also.

i shall soon be bald;  my hair is falling out.

well as far as i can tell.  i mean, i find it everywhere.  on my bed, on my pillow, on my clothes, in Ronin's hands (because he pulls it out), everywhere.

i think i could rock being bald.  although i do have some fairly gnarly scars. just give me some spray paint, a couple sheets of stickers, maybe some rhinestones and glue and i'm set.

speaking of scars, i sustained another brutal emotional scar yesterday.

i might have mentioned once or twice that lately my son's farts are like an Armageddon to my sense of smell, and yesterday was no exception.  and i knew it was only a matter of time until the lethal flatulence would give way to disaster and i'd have to throw my Hazmat suit on and deal with a Nuclear-Poop-Holocaust-Diaper.

yesterday at 3pm he struck, and he shot to kill.

after several of what i naively assumed were "farts", i had decided to bring him upstairs and change his diaper.  i unbuttoned his onsie and caught the haunting aroma of baby-stench and gave a little dry heave.  it had leaked out the side of the diaper, all over his back and down his legs.  (insert music from Psycho here)

the next 20 minutes was a blur of tears, flailing arms and legs, aggravated pleas as i tried to keep his fingers from grabbing all the nastiness, poo streaks everywhere, oodles and oodles of soiled wet wipes, and a triumphant 5 month old splashing about in the tub looking smug.

good times.  this boy is so fun.  he definitely takes after his daddy, The Destroyer.

example.

right now he's by my side on the couch and pulling the blanket over his face in an effort to smother himself.

and i, like the trained monkey i am, keep having to snatch it off of his face, which he thinks is HilARioUs.  ah, what a fun life i lead!

even my cats are in rare form this week.  at night, specifically after midnight when i'm done feeding them (throwback!) they turn into monsters that howl at the bedroom door where Ronin and i are trying to sleep.  they cry louder and louder as they attempt to claw their way through the wood or dig their way under it through the carpet.

i've never had eggplant.  i think i've reached the point in my life where i'm brave enough to try it.

bet you didn't see that one coming, didja?




10 Reasons Why I Win At Life Today:

1. I am not a hamster. therefore, I do not have to choose between a toaster, a cardboard box, a washing machine, and a Kia as my mode of transportation.

2. I lost another pound!! only (ugh) 19 more to go.

3. I still haven't made any apple cobbler. If I can just keep from baking then maybe I'll be able to get the rest of this baby weight off.

4. I did not turn into a hippie, a nazi, a facist, or a Jersey Shore Snookie character today. Ultra win.

5.  I took a shower!! I even pushed back my cuticles! HYGIENE WIN!

6.  I uploaded 51 new pictures of my perfect handsome son to my FB page. You're welcome, Earth.

7.  I did half of a leg workout.  In other words, Left Leg = Strong. Right Leg = ...meh.

8.  I won at your MOM last night!! OOOOHhhhhh!! Sick Burn!

9.  So You Think You Can Dance on TV + Not Being Blind + Not Being Deaf = a recipe for a sexy evening. Team Kent/Lauren!!!

10. I haven't been Ninja Peed on in a whole month!!!!!!!!!!



as always, thanks for stopping by. show the love; leave a comment, feel free to give suggestions/topics,  come back any time. I love my readers!!