If i could cash in silver linings i would be rich

there's something to be said for silver linings. added bonuses. extra wins.

however you want to label it.

it's been brought to my attention that i've been awarded Bonus Life Wins that I wasn't expecting.

1)  I had a rhinoplasty in 2008. Bonus Win: there's so much scar tissue in my nose that all these "spring allergens" don't bother me at all. seriously, no runny nose and not even one sneeze. also, i can tweeze my protruding nose hairs without involuntary pain-tears.

2)  I got kind of scary sick about a week ago but thankfully was treated quickly and recovered 100%. Bonus Win: a withheld dissappointing truth was finally outed during a related conversation. it kind of sucks that my health had to be in peril before the truth was finally squeezed out, but at least now i know.

3)  This dude's meals from now on will all taste like lighter fluid. And he will never again be able to slurp him some soup. But at least he'll always know where his lighter is when it's late at night and the Arson Compulsion starts to rear it's crackling head...

4) He may have lost his fingers, hand, and wrist in that fateful ribbon-cutting-ceremony freak accident, but at least he didn't lose his sense of humor. A giant toe. It must have been his facetious response to his buddies' drunken cheers of "walk it off, dude!"

5) I tried on my pre-pregnancy swim suit two days ago. It was frightening and tragic. Silver Lining: i ended up putting the Ben & Jerry's pint down. It's still in my freezer. lonely and unmunched.




Now for a new segment called Ten Things That Are Amazing/Awful:

1) Surprise Buttsecks: depends on who you ask. wink.

2)  Mike's Beer Bread: depends on how many days you let it sit on top of the microwave.

3)  Jellyfish: definitely awful. and reason number 4 of Why I Don't Go In The Water.

4)  Dogbird: Awesome. also, want. Not only is it a delicious alternative to chicken, but when you shoot down one of it's buddies, it will help you find it by flapping over and pointing to it with it's sweet little puppy nose.

5)  Sexy Black Swan inspired back tattoo. Also Awesome. and i would TOTALLY get it done if tattoos weren't so darn permanent.

6)  Every Day I'm Shufflin. Awesome. Especially the dancing Robot. That hunka iron's got some sick moves.

7)  Mummies. Awful. But only because of the stench that i assume accompanies their perfectly preserved asses.

8)  Sporadically dancing, then turning around to find that my husband has also spontaneously started busting a groove. Awesome. We're so in sync...

9) Grilled. Cheese. Sandwich.  Awesome.

10)  Ke$ha. AWFUL. she looks like a train wreck of a crack slut. in glitter. who's covered in dirtlike freckles. and she can't sing. Shun.


Comment with YOUR most Awesome/Awful thing of the moment.