i don't exactly feel like flowers, fluff and unicorns tonight.

it's been... a day.

today can best be described by the following;

sometimes i feel like a volatile supervillain.  usually, i'm my mild mannered alter-ego, Normal Mom.  i go about my day, lovingly taking care of my child and being so sweet and supportive to my husband, doing little things around the house being all Plain Jane-y.

but after several weeks/months of this, something changes and the cracks start to show.

i continue to be Normal Mom and strain to keep the pieces of my calm alter-ego facade in tact until i just cain't no more.

and then i explode into B*tchy Kapow!

like today...

things just piled up and piled up... little things, nothing big, but it all added up and it was too much.  so i dealt with it the best way i knew how.


it began after dinner. i was walking out to my car with Mike and i saw a stupid grimey blonde hoodlum LEANING AGAINST MY CAR and smoking.  my eyebrow twitched and that was it. i lost it. i yelled at the punk to get the fuck off of my car. he mumbled "sorry" and stumbled away.

i felt so liberated, so free. so empowered. so deliciously bitchy.  i can now understand why chicks are such meanie-heads, such bitches; it gives you such a high when you're yelling at delinquents with your eyes all bloodshot and junk.

i still have feelings of explode-o-rage, but i'm holding it in.  i may or may not have, but definitely did lose my resolve a bit tonight and i had a set-back..... mentally. i won't go into any detail on that. let's just say that i'm not ready to be off of my Zoloft yet, and maybe i shouldn't have cut my dosage in half so soon.


sorry this post wasn't too funny, but i really don't feel like imparting levity tonight. i'm kind of disappointed in myself. on the other hand though, i feel free and mischievious and liberated.

my head is such a messed up place.  i need a summer home for my brain.


Krista's Thoughts Before Bedtime:

1. The Other Guys was a very... different comedy and very good.

2. There needs to be a Mosquito Holocaust. also a Skunk Holocaust.  Possibly a Cockroach Holocaust.

3.  The girl sitting next to me at the movie theatre tonight smelled really good. i found myself sniffing in her direction several times over the duration of the movie and wondering if i should ask her what her perfume is called and where she got it.

4.  i'm curious to find out if Amaretto and Vanilla Silk would be good; but Mike guilt tripped me out of trying it and now i'm unjustifiably bitter.

5.  i dislike when i'm trying to type and people keep asking me questions.  it takes ALL  of my powers of concentration to put the right fingers to the right keys and to spludge together semi-coherant sentences, and ANY disruption in my focus shoots it all to hell. 

6. i'm feeling a MILLION pressures to be skinny again.  sigh. it's amazing how many of my actions or non-actions are motivated by guilt and shame.

7.  i think i'm going to start planning ahead and mapping out my New Year's Resolutions for the end of this year.

8.  i would love to try liposuction, but i have no faith in it. i fully expect that if i spend my life savings on getting my fat sucked out of my jiggly thighs, that the difference would be less than noticeable and that they would regain their puffy bloatedness within the week.

9.  armadillos = not cute.

10.  i stole a glass from Cheeburger Cheeburger. Mike broke the last one that i'd swiped so i had to replace it.  it was my favorite, favorite glass.  Mike is not allowed to touch this new one.